Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (Creekwood, #1)by Becky Albertalli Published 07 Apr 2015
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|Publisher||Balzer + Bray|
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Sixteen-year-old and not-so-openly gay Simon Spier prefers to save his drama for the school musical. But when an email falls into the wrong hands, his secret is at risk of being thrust into the spotlight. Now Simon is actually being blackmailed: if he doesn’t play wingman for class clown Martin, his sexual identity will become everyone’s business. Worse, the privacy of Blue, the pen name of the boy he’s been emailing, will be compromised.
With some messy dynamics emerging in his once tight-knit group of friends, and his email correspondence with Blue growing more flirtatious every day, Simon’s junior year has suddenly gotten all kinds of complicated. Now, change-averse Simon has to find a way to step out of his comfort zone before he’s pushed out—without alienating his friends, compromising himself, or fumbling a shot at happiness with the most confusing, adorable guy he’s never met.
"Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (Creekwood, #1)" Reviews
Oh okay, you I-told-you-so people. You were right. This book is so much fun that I baked cookies and listened to unfortunate nineties pop music.
And I seriously didn't want to read this. I mean, why would I? I don't particularly like cutesy romances, LGBT or not. The cover is kinda sucky and not attractive. The title is an inside joke that only makes sense after reading the book. And, let's be honest, it's always easier to convince me to read books with phrases like "mind-bending twist", "dark secrets" and "twisted characters". The word "cute" doesn't draw me in.
But I finally took a chance on it and I concede - this book is wonderful. Just so so entertaining from start to finish. I actually snorted aloud (like the sexy beast I am) at some of the hilarious scenes between Simon and his friends. Simon is that perfect mix of delightfully weird and totally normal - he makes us laugh and roll our eyes, but we secretly recognize many of the things he thinks.
I giggled so much at scenes like this:
I take a sip of my beer, and it’s - I mean, it’s just astonishingly disgusting. I don’t think I was expecting it to taste like ice cream, but holy fucking hell. People lie and get fake IDs and sneak into bars, and for this? I honestly think I’d rather make out with Bieber. The dog. Or Justin.
Anyway, it really makes you worry about all the hype surrounding sex.
A few minutes later...
“Simon, how much did you drink?” asks Leah. I’m twisting the ends of her hair. Leah’s hair is so pretty, and it smells exactly like French toast. Except that’s Abby. Leah smells like almonds.
“One beer.” One most excellent, most delicious beer.
“One beer. I can’t even begin to express how ridiculous you are.”
I know this sounds extremely lame - but this book genuinely made me happy. It doesn't hesitate to portray the reality of homophobia in a high school in the South, but it's ultimately such an uplifting story about friendship, family and the sweetest romance I may ever have read.
You can read hundreds, perhaps thousands, of books about the difficulties of dealing with your sexuality and coming out - like the dark and powerful More Happy Than Not - and these are very important, but it was so refreshing to see a warm, fuzzy gay romance where the protagonist is supported by his friends and family.
Very funny and heart-warming.
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Original Review (December 2013): If Becky wasn't a gay teenage boy with good grammar and a foul mouth in several past lives, then she's absolutely one of the most observant writers in the YA game.
New Review (June 2017): Just finished my third or fourth reread of SIMON VS., this time on audio which is narrated by the amazing Michael Crouch, and wow, I love this book more each time. I'm 27 right now and SIMON remains the book I wish I had 10 years ago.
This was a great read! Simon is a hilarious character and I loved reading through his perspective. I also liked that the story didn't just end right after the climax and how we got to see what happened past the big moment of the story.
Read for Popsugar's 2018 Reading Challenge #12: A Book with an LGBTQ+ Protagonist
I'm trying to spend more time this year re-reading some of my favorite books, and this was a great start! I actually listened to it on audiobook this time around, and the narration was amazing. No complaints! Also I'm SO FREAKING EXCITED FOR THE MOVIE
first read in 2015
THIS BOOK IS WONDERFUL.
If a story about a cynical gay Harry Potter fan falling in love with somebody from the inside out sounds appealing to you, do yourself a favor and pick this up when it comes out in April.
in honor of me seeing the movie early and then seeing it again on a cheesy and gay movie date: THE BEST MOMENTS OF THIS BOOK, NEW AND IMPROVED!!
🌷Simon putting Martin in his phone as “monkey’s asshole”
🌹I can’t believe “mom, pick me up, kids are drinking alcohol” isn’t in the book
🌷the Drarry fanfiction summer
🌹“there are some socks that shouldn’t be washed by your mom”
🌷the suck and dick nice weather typo, and Blue subsequently bringing it up, like, eight times
🌹the unfortunately correct representation of what high school theater is like. thoughts and prayers appreciated
🌷 “What’s a dementor?” she asks.
I mean, I can’t even. “Nora, you are no longer my sister.”
“So it’s some Harry Potter thing.”
🌹the entire chapter where Simon drinks a beer
🌷 "I take a sip of my beer, and it’s - I mean, it’s just astonishingly disgusting. I don’t think I was expecting it to taste like ice cream, but holy fucking hell. People lie and get fake IDs and sneak into bars, and for this? I honestly think I’d rather make out with Bieber. The dog. Or Justin.
Anyway, it really makes you worry about all the hype surrounding sex."
🌹thanks Simon this is the best quote I’ve read in my damn life
🌷 Simon going on a rant about all the different places they came from and how they all got here and Abby replying with “slavery, in my case”
🌹I still think Abby and Leah should have ended up together, especially after that one line about how they really were just "trying to impress each other"? why was that there if they‘re both Really Straight? [bi Leah theory is real and i'm so glad Becky agrees with me]
🌷I cant believe the post-presidency Barack Obama joke wasn’t in the book because that was fucking awesome
🌹all of Simon’s email titles. especially Reese’s are better than sex
🌷“Maybe you should stop having heterosexual sex”
🌹Blue being an asshole and attaching a picture of a Reese’s to an email
🌷“Partying harder than Blue’s mom since 2014”
🌹 Wednesday is gender bender day, which basically amounts to Southern straight people cross dressing.
🌷Simon thinking Blue dressing up like a cheerleader is cute, one chapter after they sarcastically intone the concept of ogling cheerleaders.
🌹 I am literally not joking, that actually happens in this book and it took me FOUR REREADS to notice it. that is the most next-level foreshadowing I have ever seen in my whole fucking life
🌷Leah dressing extra-feminine to protest gender bender day
🌹 “being secure in your masculinity isn’t the same as being straight” –somebody finally fucking said it!!
🌷Leah’s birthday haiku for Simon
🌷When Blue calls Simon cute and grammatical and Simon calls him that back. wow I love love
🌹 “...or we could do things other than talking. I mean, I’m just saying” –Simon being a smooth bitch
🌷did we all just forget that Simon ran a tumblr called Passion Pit OBSESSION
🌹the part where Simon and Blue touch hands oh my god !!!!!
🌷 “I’m glad you find me distracting. It wouldn’t be fair otherwise” –Blue being a smooth bitch
🌹Simon stealing Leah’s cut your eyes to the side strategy and using it on Martin
🌷Simon giving into the Martin thing and immediately internal monologuing “I hate myself. I hate myself” is the most relatable content
🌹Abby replying to Martin hitting on her with “I do like waffles. that’s why I got them”
🌹Blue’s dad getting him a book by Casanova
the fact that Blue says “as you would say, freaking Casanova” and Simon immediately replies with “FREAKING CASANOVA” that’s so pure
🌷Blue being turned on by Simon’s sentence fragments
🌹 “who are all these cute guys that make you so nervous? you better not love THEIR sentence fragments”
🌷THE FACT THAT WE’VE ALREADY SEEN BRAM FREEZE UP AROUND SIMON IN REAL LIFE AAAAAAAH
🌹Martin singing at the Waffle House
🌷How sweet and soft Abby is after Simon comes out she freaking,, has him pull over and is so nice
🌹Everything Abby does in this whole book?
🌷 “she didn’t seem to believe me when I told her I’m not sexually active, so I guess that’s flattering”
🌹Simon calling his future inlaws “Ms. Every Time Including Oral and Mr. Let’s Read About Freaking Casanova”
🌷all the conversations about letting the walls down in this book are so freaking relatable. it really does feel like there’s no going back once you tell one person and I’m so impressed that Becky Albertalli managed to get that down.
🌹THE ENTIRETY OF PAGE 129
🌷a sophomore snuck into the chem lab and got his junk stuck in a beaker?
🌹Taylor getting more characterization than basic mean girl !! [make her Leah's love interest in Leah on the Offbeat. I beg and pray]
🌷Blue slipping a joke about how good Simon is at distracting him into his Upset Monologue
🌹 “It’s like he’s our age telling his parents he knocked someone up. Which is totally the straight person equivalent of coming out” –Simon being a freaking savage
🌷I don’t know about you but I can’t read the why is straight the default paragraph without thinking about OH GOD HELP ME JESUS
🌹and Blue replying with “the Homosexual Agenda” I’m freaking crying
🌷“You have me curious. Banana? Hot dog? Cucumber?” –a real thing Simon actually typed and sent
🌹“More like a giant baguette” –a real thing Blue actually typed and sent
🌷“I love your giant baguette” –a real thing Simon actually typed and sent
🌹Simon calling Blue “my Jewish-Episcopalian email boyfriend” in his internal monologue
🌷the fact that Nick likes to talk about social media as a vehicle for constructing and performing identity
🌹“Whatever the hell that means” —Simon
🌷 “Who would post something like that?” “Someone who doesn’t know that “anal buttsex” is redundant”
🌷the fucking smiley face on page 171
🌹Simon calling Target “an office supply Justice League”
🌷 “one girl even confirms that Jesus still loves me”
🌹HERE IT IS GUYS. THE MOST ICONIC AND RELATABLE LINE FROM THIS WHOLE BOOK:
I’m just so sick of straight people who can’t get their shit together
🌷the fact that Simon says this about Bram, the most heterosexual of straights, the straightest, just call him Straighty McHetero
🌹AUDITIONS !! SIMON CALLING BRAM CUTE !! WOW IF PAGE 195 AINT A PAGE
🌷also Simon’s entire arc means the fucking world to me and I am so proud of him
🌹why does Simon get drunk so much in this book
🌷the Elliot Smith shirt !!
🌹Simon trying to crank Sufjan Stevens and it going about as well as you could expect
🌷the NOTE IN THE SHIRT
🌹ALL OF THE FERRIS WHEEL SCENE. PAGE TWO SIXTY SIX TO TWO SIXTY EIGHT IN THE US HARDCOVER EDITION WOW LOVE IS REAL 👏👏👏
🌷 “Bram’s gone too. how strange :)” —Abby being a savage
🌹“you’re THE cute guy” —BRAM BEING THE MOST ROMANTIC
🌷SHOUT OUT OUR ANNIVERSARY EVERY WEEK
🌹Bram’s dad using Casanova being bisexual as a reply to him coming out
🌷the fact that a 2015 bestselling YA novel used the word bisexual twice and it’s 2018 and I still feel like I have to recognize that
🌹the “happy two day anniversary!!!!!!!!!” text
🌷“don’t you dare cry” “what? no way” *has a full breakdown*
aaaaaaanddddddd most importantly
🌹WHY WOULD I WANT TO WATCH OTHER PEOPLE KISSING
🌷WHEN I COULD BE KISSING YOU
that’s all, folks, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk !! please read this book it’s eight levels of purity, cleansed my soul, and made me into the lesbian I am today. also I technically read most of it from 4 am to 6 am on Jan 18 because priorities, and if that's not an endorsement, what is?
→ elise nitpicks her faves ←
Nick is lowkey there for added heterosexual romance drama, there is a reference to coming out being easier for gay girls that I think is an oversimplistification, and that is literally it. I do my best to criticize things but my guy sometimes you just gotta accept masterpieces for what they are
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Awesome. Video review to come.